Key takeaways from The Practice of Groundedness
It’s never enough
Undoubtedly the last two years have been a time of change and reflection. COVID has certainly forced many of us to adjust our priorities and allowed us to re-evaluate how we want to live our lives.
In recent years, I’ve felt like no matter how hard I tried, I was never doing enough - bouncing from one priority to the next, trying to be hyper productive but always drowning in too many unread emails and slack messages. There’s a constant feeling of hopelessness and anxiety but I was never able to articulate this state.
Brad Stulberg’s book, The Practice of Groundedness: A Transformative Path to Success that Feeds - Not Crushes - Your Soul, provides a great assessment of the state that many of us might be in and proposes an approach to better design our lives. Let’s first explore the two key concepts that are introduced in the book - heroic individualism and groundedness.
Heroic Individualism
Brad coins the term:
“Heroic Individualism: An ongoing game of one-upmanship, against both yourself and others, paired with the limited belief that measurable achievement is the only arbiter of success.”
It’s the feeling that no matter how hard you try, and how much you put into your work, you never quite reach the finish line and feel fulfilled. Some of the symptoms include: restlessness, feeling rushed, low level angst, scatteredness, exhaustion, burnout, periods of emptiness, a compulsion to keep chasing the next thing.
Somehow over the years, I’ve inadvertently adopted the heroic individualism mindset despite all my efforts to go at my own pace not be swayed by what’s happening around me and disconnect when possible. It’s comforting to have a term that describes this exact condition.
Groundedness
To overcome heroic individualism, Brad recommends that we practice groundedness.
Groundedness is defined as:
“Unwavering internal strength and self-confidence that sustains you through ups and downs. It is a deep reservoir of integrity and fortitude, of wholeness, out of which lasting performance, well-being, and fulfillment emerge.”
Being grounded promises to allow one to thrive at their own pace, be able to sustain their energy and passion without burning out. It doesn’t mean that someone who takes time to become grounded is any less ambitious. Rather, it provides a stronger foundation upon which to achieve more sustainable results.
Key Takeaways
Among the many great ideas presented in the book, these are the three that I’ll focus on:
Patience and Acceptance
So often, I’m frustrated with not being able to accomplish everything I set out to achieve. I will be more accepting of the fact that not everything will get done - in fact, I’ve acknowledged that it’s an impossible task. I’ll be more patient with myself and focus on the long game which includes getting better at my craft and building relationships instead of focusing on the immediate outcome.
Be a whole person, not just a one dimensional work machine
I’m reminded that we are not our jobs. There’s more to life than being defined by a singular identity. Even though I try not to take myself too seriously, and work hard to maintain a good balance, I still feel guilty about taking the time required to be my whole self. This was a good reminder that there’s tremendous strength that can be drawn from being an active part of your community of family and friends, prioritizing physical fitness, personal hobbies and having fun. It’s important to constantly pursue these avenues because it contributes to your overall happiness and sustainability at work.
Being Present
I will prioritize being 100% present in whatever I’m doing. This means prioritizing and blocking time to enter into a state of flow and not being distracted by my phone.
The ability to enter the flow state has been extremely rewarding. More than anything, I will prioritize spending as much time in the state of flow as possible. It’s like a superpower, not only is it a form of meditation, but it allows you to be “one” with your work, to achieve more than you thought you could. Getting to this state requires blocking off dedicated time, having a clear objective (no more than 3 per week), and zero distractions.
In terms of reducing distractions, small steps like not bringing the phone into the bedroom have already helped. Needless to say, to be truly present, it’s important to turn off all notifications or even better, to not even have your phone with you.