Rethinking Regret
Daniel Pink’s latest book - The Power of Regret made it okay to accept that we all have regrets and if we actually confront them we may actually be able to live a better life.
Prior to reading the book, I was delusional, I didn’t really think I had any regrets. I just chalked up past wrongs as a price I pay for growing up or trying new things. However, if I consciously confronted those regrets, I found that it was possible to learn from them so that they can be avoided in the future.
It’s convenient that Daniel Pink breaks down regrets into 4 core types of regrets:
The four core regrets:
Foundational regret (health, staying in shape, financial well being and planning)
Boldness Regret (not asking someone out, starting a business, etc)
Moral Regret (not doing the right thing)
Connection regret (losing touch with others)
My own regrets
The areas that I want to pay particular attention to for myself fall under the following two buckets:
Connection regret - making sure I stay in touch with many of the awesome people I’ve had the chance to meet over time and
Boldness regret - Really reaching for the stars and being less afraid to fail and fall flat. In some areas this has gone well, but definitely not in all areas.
Use Anticipated Regrets in Your Decision Making
Besides examining our past regrets and learning how to mend them or avoid repeating them in the future, Daniel Pink also demonstrates how we can make better decisions by thinking ahead and making choices that are less likely to result in future regrets.
When you’re making a decision that is not one of the four core regrets, just make a choice and move on, there’s no need to second guess yourself.
When it comes to one of the four core regrets, picture yourself many years into the future and consider how you would avoid regret based on your decision.
Questions to consider
What are some of your biggest regrets?
What can you learn from those regrets?
Are there actions you can take today to alleviate those regrets? Make amends, reach out to a long lost friend?
Based on your past regrets what steps can you take to avoid similar regrets from arising?