I'm Just Going to Lie Down Now
So… for all of you out there grinding away, let me ask you a question -- how do you know when work is out of balance? For me it slowly crept out of work hours and into my personal life, starting with an innocent lunch meeting, then early morning meetings with teams across the pond, and wrapping things up at night when the kids were finally asleep. And then all of a sudden I found myself in a position where I felt out of balance because my mind was always in and out of work mode. I’m not blaming my old job completely -- honestly my company believed in a reasonably healthy work-life balance. But I have definitely been in other roles where it’s almost been glorified to be the workaholic, like they’re a hero with their undying loyalty to the mission. And there’s the micro-moments that add to this feeling, where someone emails a report over the weekend, or comes into the office on a stat holiday to finish a few things because “the office is quieter and I can get things done.” Often these moments are mentioned as a source of pride.
And for what? I get it -- oftentimes employees want to be seen as going the extra mile. For sure it’s important to show you’re making a difference, and demonstrating some level of commitment helps that narrative. Especially when we’re trying to prove to our bosses that we deserve to get to that next level of salary, or promotion. And sometimes its to prove to ourselves that we have worth.
Society’s Fascination with Work Identity
In North America (and many other areas of the industrialized world) our identities are deeply tied to our work life. How often do you meet someone new and invariably one of the first questions after learning your name is “What do you do?” Our society places a lot of weight on your day job and in social interactions, and even judges and assigns you value based on your response to this question.
A lot has changed in the last few decades, but in my parents’ working years, your value was even tied to the company at which you were employed. It wasn’t unheard of to work at the same company for your entire lifetime! And there was a mutual loyalty that existed, where companies took care of your family, and you never really considered jumping around.
Tenures have definitely shortened since then, but the pressure to do what a company asks of you is definitely still there. If you don’t, you feel like you’re not living up to the standard society has placed on you to fulfill your work identity. And since a lot of our societal norms continue to place importance on our professional achievements, this value that is tied to our career identity can cause us to forget about our personal lives and this is when things start tipping out of balance. Recently I came across some interesting stories about extreme examples of this imbalance that serve as good reminders to ensure we’re periodically checking in and reflecting on our own situation.
996
I’ve been reading with great interest about China’s 996 work culture, in which China’s tech juggernauts have exploited workers to feel like they need to work from 9am - 9pm, 6 days a week. They’ve done this by glorifying this culture in the media, rewarding workers who put in face time and hours, and punishing those that don’t through social and managerial pressure. Jack Ma, the founder of Alibaba, has been quoted as saying ‘How can you achieve the success you want if you don’t put in more effort and time than others?’ The fact is that it’s so rampant, the Chinese government finally stepped in to officially ban it after reports of employees working themselves to death! Yikes, let that sink in for a second -- people are dying from working too much! I’m sure many of you think you’d never let it go too far or even be part of a scheme like this, but it’s human social psychology to go along with things even if it’s against your own values, especially if everyone else is and an authority figure is telling you that it’s the right thing to do.
In Chinese society there is also immense pressure to show material wealth and own property, which is seen as a necessity to attract a spouse and start a family. Because China has gone through some insane growth, this has become much more expensive. The tech giants that propagate the 996 culture are often seen as places to earn a really good salary that can unlock that wealth. For those chasing this ideal future life, there is even more pressure to stay in this toxic work culture.
Lying Flat
Interestingly enough, a growing counterculture movement dubbed Lying Flat sprung up to combat 996. Some employees have decided enough is enough and that the modern slavery to work had to stop. Instead of blindly following company loyalty and Chinese societal pressure to have more and more material wealth, they’ve eschewed that in favour of small low paying gigs, just enough to get by. Stories are being published about young Chinese workers even choosing to move out of China’s major cities to smaller, slower-paced cities where they can spend more time with friends and family, and actually enjoy life!
I loved hearing about this Lying Flat movement and I’m glad to see this revolution starting so that tech workers can have a bit more balance in their own lives. But can you imagine the establishment they’re fighting, and how they must be seen as rebels on the fringe of society? Especially in an economy like China’s, where everyone feels like there's a massive opportunity to get ahead if you just have enough hustle. Maybe we’re not so crazy here in North America, but many times I do feel like I’m moving more to the fringes of society with the choices I’m making.
Where I’m At
Over the past year, I had my “Lying Flat” moment, and like a lot of my Chinese tech brethren across the pond, it took some burnout and some crap at work to mentally get there. What was I pursuing? Could I take a step back and re-evaluate whether or not my work life and personal life were in balance? I did exactly that, and it took some serious introspection, but I realized that it wasn’t and enough was enough - I was done chasing the things that were important to my work identity at the expense of what was important to my personal identity. I was also at the point where I realized I did have enough, and I was in a place where I could spend the majority of my time and energy focused on increasing my personal fulfilment instead.
I will admit, there is some discomfort coming up against what society expects of me and my own work identity. Who am I now? How will I introduce myself? These are things that I still need to ponder, but I’m happy to lie flat for awhile to figure it out.
